February 2012
10 posts
#2
Within the confines of this cage
that you set upon me with your rage.
I have found characters worthy of my trust
Even when I’m left here to decay and rust.
Within the darkness,
light indeed shines bright.
The most beautiful daybreaks
Come after the darkest nights
Talking to you
I feel my sanity coming back.
It’s been so long
all that was there was a void a lack.
So thank you my dear...
Fuck you.
Forget it. I don’t even feel the need to prove my innocence anymore. Believe what you want, I couldn’t give any less of a damn. Just know that I’m not gonna play nice if you cross the line.
#1
Oh these accusations posed against me,
When will they learn to decipher fact from fiction?
But by saying they know what I did,
It shows how little the know about me.
Hurt I am that one might ponder
Over the authenticity of such slander.
The truth shall arise and the truth
will set you free.
So I shall believe what I want,
And the same goes to you.
Or so the saying goes,
To...
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love...”
– This is beautiful. Bob Marley legend.
Disgusting on the inside.
I’m so confused right now on the inside. A mixture of disgust, abhorence, anger and just plain disappointment coming from people who should really know better.
January 2012
6 posts
That's new.
So last week 3 girls confessed to me. And let’s just say that is 3 more than I can handle. I’m not used to this, being the one someone likes is new to me. I’m still sorting out my shit and it still hurts when I think of her. It hurts quite alot knowing that we probably will never be more then friends again after getting so close and falling so hard. Don’t care what you say...
Over before it began.
Wow. I can look back in this blog and see how things progressed and it’s kinda interesting. But now things are over. It’s feels more bitter than sweet though. I’m happy to be free of the worries that plagued me and feel like I’m free. But when I was with her it was a different kind of happiness, “It feels warm, like you know you’re not gonna be alone.”...
December 2011
8 posts
Tired.
You know what? I’m tired of pulling this load and trying to keep us afloat. It’s ur turn to prove it that you want this to work. If not fine, I’ll move on in life cause it’s what I do. But I hate this, I hate it. I feel like a bother to you, you don’t take initiative and are just plain cold sometimes. I want to give up my dear, so now is ur time to change my mind....
Dude (Part 2)
*I accidentally hit post before I was done.*
I don’t expect you to make an effort to change who you are because of me but it gets to me. And like, I like saying goodnight? Instead of texting me the following morning saying that you happened to doze off when half the time I stay awake to talk to you.
It sounds incredibly self centered and immature of me but it feels like I’m the one...
Dude.
Hey, I like you.
In every good relationship you gotta have 2 key things: Love and Intimacy. And with you I feel like I’m the only one giving the love :( Or at least the only one showing it. Maybe it’s hard for you to open up and show it but it really really hurts cause I’m insecure and I wanna be told by you that I’m the object of your affection not by others.
When I hold...
Something's gotta give.
As I write this I’m in Switzerland and I realize that I either gotta give up my pursuit or I need to tell my church leaders cause they’re gonna find out eventually and I rather I tell them than they find out through other means.
The thing is what’s gonna happen when I tell them? I know what they’ll say but the thing is I don’t know if I’ll follow it. I really...
C'mon
Let it work out please? I just want things to go right. Maybe I’m rushing thins :O
Look how far we've come...
Wow. I’m like in love man. Lucky me to find such a wonderful girl :) And she likes me too. First time holding hands and snuggling with a girl. Thank you Jennifer’s Body for allowing me to be a scared little girl and just hug her to the max. That was awesome and something I will remember for a long, long time.
November 2011
6 posts
Darkness.
I don’t fucking know. I really don’t.
I feel an overwhelming darkness in my heart. It’s all consuming. It drowns out the hope, the very life of my soul and I don’t know what to do. It eats at me and rears it’s head in my moments of weakness.
Fuck it all.
Things change.
Things change, people change, I’ve changed. Somehow by looking back and my previous rants, posts and notes I can see how I have changed. It’s scary. It really is to see my past self and know that I have gotten though all that stuff. I dunno. I’m tired. That is all.
October 2011
9 posts
Don't wanna be you!~
Sigh this is gonna be rushed and off the top of my head. I like you, alot. Hsin Min Anita Zee, I’m head over heels for you. You drive me crazy, with everything you do. I feel compelled to talk with you all the time. Call it what you want a crush, infatuation, whatever I don’t care what I know is that right now I like you. In five years time I might not remember you, we might not speak....
One day, I'm gonna make you the happiest girl...
Once upon a time...
There lived a boy, and a very average one at that. He had an average intelligence, average looks, average family background and average grades. As average as you could get, yet he was different. Instead of spending time getting into relationships he spent time with God. Instead of going out with his friends, he went to church. Instead of buying whatever he wanted, he gave his money to church.
...
Internal Warfare
Bleh exams. I hope I get decent grades, that’s all I really want. I realize in life or at least my life it’s mainly me choosing between Church and the world. Me trying to do the right thing and also what I think makes me happy. Trying to find the intersection between both worlds.
Sometimes I just want to talk with someone who understand what I’m feelin’ like really understands. I don’t even...
September 2011
11 posts
4 a.m.
Sigh slept too long in the afternoon and woke up a 3 a.m. that is retarded. My exams are soon :( I don’t like it, I don’t like it at all. I swear when I am at my busiest is when I get the most SMSes from random people. Apparently half my class thinks I like a girl called Adeline Lee, because I was SMSing her. My goodness if I liked people based on SMS I would be a Pedophile, Gay,...
Examinations.
Guess what? They’re here again =.= Study, Brian, Study you must. Do your best and leave no room for regrets! Do all things with excellence! Persevere for the final lap before the victory!
Because of you.
You came and shook my world upside down. I thought I had plans not to get into relationships, to remain neutral, to wait for the right person when I’m older. But you changed that with your bubbly nature. Your stunning looks. Your bright personality. Your beauty.
All these thoughtless chats bring me closer to you, amplify my feelings, make my heart beat fast. Your wit and intelligence has...
Thoughts towards you.
Sigh it’s like everyday I’m starting to fall more and more for you. Why must you be so frickin’ not uncute! Sigh why did you have to be just my type. It’s like some kind of cruel joke. :(
I like you way to much girl.
I'm glad.
I’m really happy I mustered up the courage to ask you the question that has been on my mind for so long :D Even though you didn’t say yes I’m happy. Cause if I had spent my whole life thinking about what could have been if I had asked you I would probably regret it.
In some aspects I think it’s great you said no ‘cause now I can keep my convictions and have a clear...
